Charlie Carver, best known for his role on the hit MTV series, Teen Wolf, has come out of the closet as gay through a series of personal posts on his Instagram on Monday.

Pt 1: “Be who you needed when you were younger”. About a year ago, I saw this photo while casually scrolling through my Instagram one morning. I’m not one for inspirational quotes, particularly ones attributed to “Mx Anonymous”- something mean in me rebukes the pithiness of proverbs, choosing to judge them as trite instead of possibly-generally-wise, resonant, or helpful. And in the case of the good ol’ Anonymous kind, I felt that there was something to be said for the missing context. Who wrote or said the damn words? Why? And to/for who in particular? Nonetheless, I screen-capped the picture and saved it. It struck me for some reason, finding itself likeable enough to join the ranks of the “favorites” album on my phone. I’d see it there almost daily, a small version of it next to my other “favorites”; I’d see it every time I checked into the gym, pulled up a picture of my insurance cards, my driver’s license…. Important Documents. And over the course of about-a-year, it became clear why the inspirational photo had called out to me. As a young boy, I knew I wanted to be an actor. I knew I wanted to be a lot of things! I thought I wanted to be a painter, a soccer player, a stegosaurus… But the acting thing stuck. It was around that age that I also knew, however abstractly, that I was different from some of the other boys in my grade. Over time, this abstract “knowing” grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: “I am gay”. I said them to myself at first, to see how they felt. They rang true, and I hated myself for them. I was twelve. It would take me a few years before I could repeat them to anyone else, in the meantime turning the phrase over and over in my mouth until I felt comfortable and sure enough to let the words pour out again, this time to my family…

A photo posted by Charlie Carver (@charliecarver) on

 

The star, 27, repeatedly posted the same graphic that read, “Be who you needed when you were younger,” sharing his story in a five-part Instagram message. “About a year ago, I saw this photo while casually scrolling through my Instagram one morning,” Carver told fans. “I’m not one for inspirational quotes … Nonetheless, I screen-capped the picture and saved it. It struck me for some reason.” “As a young boy, I knew I wanted to be an actor. I knew I wanted to be a lot of things! I thought I wanted to be a painter, a soccer player, a stegosaurus.… But the acting thing stuck. It was around that age that I also knew, however abstractly, that I was different from some of the other boys in my grade,” Carver continued. “Over time, this abstract ‘knowing’ grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: ‘I am gay.’ I said them to myself at first, to see how they felt. They rang true, and I hated myself for them. I was twelve. It would take me a few years before I could repeat them to anyone else, in the meantime turning the phrase over and over in my mouth until I felt comfortable and sure enough to let the words pour out again, this time to my family…”

The same photo was used for the five part post. Acting put pressure on the actor to fill a certain role but after deciding it was better to be himself, he ended his post with this: “I know that because of all of the brave men and women who’ve come out, self-identified, or couldn’t have possibly ever been ‘In.’ So to them, I am also forever grateful,” the actor wrote. “I tried to live as authentically as I’ve known how to, as a gay guy … We’re together exploring the possibilities of the Social Media Frontier, experimenting with new ways to connect, galvanize, and awaken. I get f–king MOVED every time I hear a high school voted in their transgender classmate as Prom King or Prom Queen, or when I see Twitter afire with outrage over mistreatment, brutality, and injustice.”

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